


head in the clouds and other hateful myths

by SearchingforSerendipity



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anger, Feeling lonely is not all quiet silences and sighing, Introvert, Loneliness, Poetry, even if no one else hears it, its angry and nasty and loud
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 21:40:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6094924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SearchingforSerendipity/pseuds/SearchingforSerendipity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i tremble with the fear (the certainty) that i am eroding from inside</p><p>i am angry scared lonely girl. do not pity me. </p><p>do not dare pity me</p>
            </blockquote>





	head in the clouds and other hateful myths

i am angry with loneliness

 spitting mad from dictated isolation, willful incomprehension

  
it would be better if i weren’t.

more convenient 

a nicer picture to paint a bookish girl, scatterbrained

 ‘always with her head in the clouds’ girl 

do they forget it is in the clouds where the storms rage the fiercest? i

am in the middle of it all,  

the silent smothering middle of the skyline

 i breathe. the wind is lovely but it does not do my breathing for me. i do it  

myself. i breathe so i have something to hear

  
i dream so i may have company. i dream so i may have dolls, well worn

dolls to take with me everywhere  

clutch them tight, clutch them close

 for when the big bad world opens it’s maws

 i dream to be something i am not, so i may achieve all that i am  

i dream so that i may have names on my lips, something to do,

someone to do it with 

there are so many things i want to share 

so many things i can give

 forgive me. i am rusty with selfishness

  
i am angry. i am angry and hungry and judgmental clumsy greedy

envious of companionship

 is it so strange that i made my own friends up? 

i am an angry furious dependent girl

 fragile soft steelboned girl. i skip when i walk. watch me trip. watch me get up again 

 (and) again (and) again (and) again girl get it right at the first try girl never get it right girl

 impenetrable girl laughs too loud talks too quiet girl  speak up girl stand down girl stand straight girl  shut up  

_girl_

  
i am angry and i am lonely, yes, 

i rage  against –for– the empty spaces around me

 i tremble with the fear (the certainty) that i am eroding from inside

 i am angry scared lonely girl. do not pity me. do not _dare_ pity me

 

  
befriend me. i am kind. i will smile when i hear your name. i will speak of

things we like and 

avoid the ones we don’t, i will push only when i think you need to have it

pushed.  i will care. too quickly and too easily. it will be a shallow-rippled-lake caring,

but it will grow.  i do not know gardening but i can for you i can

 i will hear you. the said and the unsaid. i will make space for you. i will compliment you

sweetly, send you scraps of life that remind me of you

it will be a careful thing. i am angry. i am angry lonely un-pitiful girl. i am

learning to hold precious dying things in my hands and let them die.  or not let them die.

i fail sometimes. we are all scared  

children.

 

  
i will befriend you. let us be friends. let us be angry together


End file.
